Why Marriage Can Quite Short ?

Why Marriage Can Quite Short ? - "Do not think so, but just yesterday there was news of her marriage massive divorced before I know it," she commented a friend while watching the news of the divorce an artist in infotainment. Comments like this in recent years often sounds.

Not surprisingly, then turn up the stereotype that artists synonymous with divorce and remarriage. Worse, the age of marriage here seem shorter course. Yet one year of marriage, have sued each other for divorce. Apparently, this phenomenon is also happening around us. What causes a short marriage? And why women are now more willing to initiate divorce?

Strapped
Some of the factors that cause short-lived marriage, according to Adriana Gina, a psychologist at the University of Indonesia, among others:
- Not too familiar. Brief courtship that could be the cause. They do not know each other so shocked that weakness partner revealed after the wedding.

- Focus on just one thing. They just watched a couple for one thing only and not see my other things. For example, her partner was so attentive. He did not know that in addition to attention, takes responsibility, respect, and others to build a marriage.

- Financial problems. Money is a sensitive issue because it involves the power and self-esteem, these issues trigger a divorce. Also interference in matters of family households.

- A third person. For some people, when the marriage has been tainted by a third person, there is no way to be taken unless the divorce.


DIVORCE? WHO IS AFRAID!
According to Adriana, the phenomenon of the increasing number of women who dare to take the decision for divorce these days because women are now many who work so feel financially secure. Ten years ago, women will think a thousand times to get a divorce. Lots to think about, from about the children to the social environment.

"It may be true that people are now arguably more individualistic. More view of self-interest. Marriage is no longer seeking status or gain a sense of security, but the quest for happiness, "said Adriana. He also added that most women now want a marriage can bring happiness in no time. People are now less patient and steadfast undergo marriage so that when they feel unhappy in the marriage, they are easy to decide for a divorce.

The reason they divorced quickly also quite interesting, that while there is still young and the young child. First, people who are divorcing usually be waiting for her children fairly large or deemed ready for divorce. Now, it may almost be considered the sooner the better. If you are caught not fit why wait another 5-10 years? So they thought. The smaller the better the child's age because he does not know anything and will easily adapt to new fathers in the subsequent marriage.

Any decision taken in a hurry certainly not going to be good. If any problem in your marriage kepentok pick apart, oh bother dong. Not just two times, you might be having marriage many times. In fact, marriage is not like clothes that you can open and replace them with new ones at will.

There are things to think about before you decide to divorce, among them the possibility to repeat the same mistakes will be greater. For example, the issue between you and your partner are different communication. You feel your communication with him not connect. Therefore you pick apart and find someone who can connect with your communication.

The problem, according to Adriana, the tendency of women are attracted to men of the same type. Most likely be her new partner type with old friends. It is not likely the same problem will happen again. And if it is not dealt with, this issue will continue to happen.

Not to mention the issue of children. Children will find it does not get attention, conflict with ex-husband because the child affairs, and so on. Next you will face new problems when getting married again. Who is the victim? Again the child.

GROWING TOGETHER
So what to do when experiencing marital problems to avoid divorce? Adriana gave the following steps.
- Overcome Together. Do not take marriage out of the problem would be sterile. It's good to prepare yourself before you get married in case the problem exists. However, the most important thing is to handle it together. If there is a mismatch and difference, fix together. Perform communication. After all, the difference will make the relationship even richer.

- Accept it. If communication does not work, just take it as a weakness that you have to accept he is.

- Tolerance. Not only communication that matters, but also tolerance should be tight. Tolerance here is that you can accept the negative things in a mate. Realize that there are things about him that you should receive it, and there you can change for the better.

- Flexibility. In a marriage, there is no rule die. For example, in the agreement before marriage, which is in charge of your finances. But in the middle of the road for some reason it is no longer possible, so the rules must be changed. Well, you have to accept it. Let the rule was developed in line with your wedding. So you and the marriage equally growing.

- Time Together. Take the time to do the things that you and your partner like. Create romance. This is necessary to maintain intimacy. If your communication and he is unwell, often quarrel, do these activities without a word. For example, watching a movie, holding hands or hugging. From here we can create emotional closeness.

If the conditions can be created with good, brief marriage should not happen.